GMing as a Family Structure

Yesterday, I discussed the historical progression of Player/GM relations. Today, I will be speaking from a more personal perspective. I tend to view my own GM as somewhat of a familial system. The GM is the father (or mother for you ladies out there), and the players are his children. Now, to some that may seem more than a little condescending, but that is not my intention. It is simply the most accurate metaphor that I have for my GMing style.

GM as parent implies a few different things. Firstly it implies control. The parent has the final say in decisions, just as the GM should have final say in the game. However, it also implies closeness and a genuine concern for your 'children'. A GM should listen to their players, hear their wants and needs in the game, and take that into account along with his own needs and those of the campaign world. This is the balancing act that every parent performs, the desire of their child vs. what is really best for them and for the rest of the family. In addition, this also shows the GMs responsibility to smooth over personality conflicts and make sure that everyone is getting along. Now, it is not always possible to give the players everything they want, but if you show that you are willing to listen to the players and take their opinions into account, then they are more likely to accept the times that you are not able to indulge them.

Now the players are children metaphor also shows some of what I feel are the players responsibilities. Firstly, the players have a responsibility to obey the GM. While it is acceptable to discuss particular calls with a GM, if they have made a firm decision then the players need to respect that and consider the matter closed. Part of this is respecting that the GM has a reason for the calls they make, either to make the game run more smoothly or to craft the campaign world as they want to. In addition, as children are expected to contribute to the family, so to are the players expected to contribute to the game worlds. At bare minimum, this requires the players to read the information that the GM supplies and play in a manner that will not destroy the sense of realism that the GM has built into the world. Ideally, this will result in the creation of PC's that will add to the world, and help it evolve and become a real world shared by everyone involved.

Now, as you can see, this is a very complex relationship between GM and Players, but in my experience it is one that leads to a very rewarding game. But that rewarding experience can only occur if all parties recognize their place in it, and work together to make the game work. The GM can no more make decisions purely because they have the power to, than players can play anything just because they want to. Both sides need to recognize that they should work for the betterment of the game and the campaign world that it is set in. Once both sides come to that understanding, you will find that the game will flow much better and the world in which it is set becomes a wonder of shared imaginations and a place where everyone, GM and Player alike, can enjoy themselves.